Funny News. 11/16/15
The Republican Presidential Candidates held their Sunshine Summit in Orlando, Florida over the weekend as they thought the sun is setting on their party. But it looked like it was a summit on Obama and Hillary Clinton. These candidates even claimed they would have stopped the terrorists attacks in Paris straight from the White House if they were president!
Shock waves in the Yankees camp!
CC Sabathia is back from his rehab stint and is talking to the media about what got him there. Here is what happened.
As the Yankees geared up towards their wild card game against the Astros, their starting pitcher, CC Sabathia was instead packing up his bags to head to the high court of Alcohol rehab! It so happened that CC had been having a deep, secret affair with booze. He hoped to get a divorce from booze in order to be a better man, player, and father.
This may sound funny, but it is not at all! It is not a laughing matter! Seriously! Though shocking as it was, I have nothing but high respect for CC Sabathia. How many addicts have had the guts to accept that they have a problem? Many instead run and hide while their addiction consumes their entire being!
And the trouble for the Bronx Bombers did not end there. They were bombed out of the playoffs in their wild card game. It was like saying we couldn’t go on without you, CC!
And CC has come out of that divorce from alcohol looking healthier than ever! I hope you have learned your lesson, CC! Curb you appetite from booze! We also call it ‘mbuh’.
Joe Biden not running for president
After leaving people in suspense for months, Vice President Joe Biden has finally decided NOT to run for president because he cannot win. This came as great news for Hillary Clinton as she just came out of the House Republican grill on her emails and Benghazi. She praises the Vice President for making the smart decision to get out of her way because she knew the nightmare she would face with Biden in the race. Now, she can relax and smile for real.
In related news, Mayor Bill De Blasio has finally backed Hillary Clinton for President. It is not just that he has seen the Progressive values he was looking for. He is running for re-election in 2017, and his poll numbers keep dropping. He has even already launched his re-election campaign two years early! De Blasio knows he will need Hillary. In this dirty game of politics, it is about, ” you rub my back, I rub your back”.
Candidate Jeb Bush fires up at Rubio!
As Jeb Bush continues to struggle with his poll numbers, he decided to get at Marco Rubio’s face during their third Republican Presidential debate, by backing the moderator’s attacks on Rubio’s Congressional record. Bush was like, huh! I teach you how to play politics and you want to play better than me? Rubio, who was mentored by Jeb Bush, and is steadily rising in the polls fired back with a remark that most people that most viewers had in mind: Attacking Marco Rubio will not take his campaign off life support!